Honestly, some of us were a little sick of Michael Phelps’ face before he even got home from Beijing with his bajillion gold medals, right? I give him mad props for being an amazing athlete, but why the HELL did he host SNL? It was more of a disaster than other episodes with actual actors.

Anyway, when he got busted for smoking pot, some people pretended to be outraged for a week, but then no one really cared. Now Phelps is allegedly having threesomes with strippers.

[Some stripper] says she met Phelps at a Baltimore strip club last November. While Phelps allegedly “was kind of mean and cocky to some of the girls,” he took to [her] and invited her and a couple other girls back to his apartment. And that’s when he lost his threeway virginity.

Yeah, this is me, not really caring. Is that bad?

Photo by Koka_Sexton

Looks like President-elect Obama is chartering on Mitt Romney territory — he’s pitching his town, Chicago, as the site of the 2016 summer Olympics. Obama will appear in a pitch that will be screened in front of the International Olympic Comittee, who will determine where the next games will be.

If Chicago gets picked, I will certainly go — it’s one of my favorite cities in the U.S.!!

Olympic U.S. sprinter Marion Jones was released from a minimum security federal prison in Texas today. She spent 6 months in jail for lying while under oath about using performance enhancing drugs during her Olympic competition in Sydney and Athens.

Now, I like watching a lot of Olympic events, but I haven’t really been super pumped about anything except for track and field. Unfortunately, we got schooled in the women’s 100M and the marathon, but in the events that many people aren’t paying attention to (those that take place inside of the track) we’re not doing too poorly…

Stephanie Brown Trafton, 28, was the first American to win the gold in discuss since 1932, and according to NBC, we should feel super lucky — we haven’t had anyone advance to the discus finals since 1984. Her throw of 64.74M (207 feet!!) was executed on her first of 6 throws…yeah, try following that act.

“Someone told me that I was coming to the Bird’s Nest to lay a golden egg,” Brown Trafton said. “That’s what I tried to do.”

Jenn Stuczynski, 25, pole vaulted her way to a silver medal in Beijing. Stuczynski broke the US Women’s record in the event at 16″ 3/4″ at the Adidas Track Classic in May. In Beijing, she cleared 4.80M (15′ 3/4″), close but no cigar to beat Russian competitor and world record holder Elena Isinbaeva who cleared 5.05M (16′ 1/2″)

Is anyone as annoyed with the news coverage over Kerry Walsh’s lost wedding ring? They found it. Big deal. Notice they wouldn’t let it go during the whole match against Cuba last night? Honestly, these commentators can just shut their mouths if they don’t have anything interesting to say. Check out the clips on Jezebel if you have no idea what I’m talking aobut.

photo by Iowa Spirit Walker

Stop taking drugs. Seriously. If you’re slow, then you weren’t meant to be competing on the world stage. Get a real freaking job and stop dissapointing all Americans that you represent every time you dope up to be faster, better or stronger and then get caught full of steroids or whatever.

As a wee high school track star, I idolized Marion Jones. I wanted to be her. She was the fastest living woman in the world. How wicked was it to see her bolting through Sydney in 2000? As a 16-year-old sprinter with some promise, I loved her. She embodied the greatness that athletes can have — poise, determination, and a likeability factor that even now I can’t help but notice and feel sorry for when I see that she’s appealing for communication on her sentence by the president. (Yeah, good luck with that one, Marion. You are brown and you’re not one of the president’s cronies/henchmen).

The more I hear about our athletes (and a few from other countries) injecting stuff into their bodies, the more it makes me sad for the state of sports today. Olympic swimming hopeful Jessica Hardy’s 3 test results are up in the air, as her results have come up as positive-negative-positive. She was slated to compete in the 100-meter breaststroke, 50 freestyle, and 400 free relay. If the results are proven to be positive, Hardy faces a two year ban from competing.

So, Olympic athletes, let the guy from the Ukraine win, even if that means taking the bronze. As long as you don’t embarrass us in front of the whole world, then I really don’t care if you lose. It’s kind of annoying to see us winning ALL those medals anyway hehe