A compilation of some of pop’s most popular songs, and a one-sentence summation of what they mean. A sampling:

Sir Mix-a-Lot, “Baby Got Back”
I want to do it.

Patsy Cline, “Crazy”
I want to do it with you so much I’m going fucking nuts.

Frank Sinatra, “Strangers in the Night”
I’m drunk and I want to do it with you.

My friend Meghan posted probably one of the most artsy music videos I’ve seen in a very long time. It’s by Santogold, and as she told me, it conjures a mix of M.I.A. and 80s New Wave. Just listen. It’s good.

After 14 years, a few reality shows, some solo ventures, an arrest here and there, the New Kids on the Block are hitting the bricks for a summer tour. Now, the great thing about the New Kids, or NKOTB, is that they’re now a little older, and wiser… and legal for all you ladies who were too old for them in the height of their fame. I was too young — I was drawing murals of Jordan Knight in kindergarten.
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Back in the day as a Kindergartner, I was obsessed with doing the “Locomotion.” Then 15 years or so later, I couldn’t get her next U.S. hit, “Can’t Get You Out of My Head” …well, out of my head. The dance track summed up a of the feelings I had for a special someone, though being that the song was the better half of a decade ago, I can only now estimate who that someone was.

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Here are a few things to look forward to this month, including Madge, Mrs. Vain, a little one, and a dead guy.

Madonna Hard Candy, April 29
THE Material Girl is back (well, it kinda feels like she never went anywhere). Her newest album Hard Candy is gonna be the hotness, filled with tons of songs to party to and give your friends lap dances. You can download the video on iTunes… or keep checking YouTube every 15 minutes to see if someone uploaded it and it hasn’t been taken down yet… And let’s face it, if there’s one artist who consistently turns out music videos worth watching, it’s Madge.

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