Now, I’m not against BJs. But I am against horrifically objectifying advertising. And the constant scheme to clog the arteries of all Americans — I’m convinced it’s the doing of the Taliban.

And really, calling a phallic sandwich a Seven Incher? That’s sooooo two-thousand-and-lame. (See what I did there? It’s not even two-thousand-and-late, it’s just two-thousand-and-lame. See that? like.. um… ugh, yeah ok I’m butt-tarded).

Over at one of my all-time favorite blogs ever in life Shakesville, Arkades is writing a series about gender and sexual identity, and all that good stuff. While the whole thing is wonderful, I just wanted to highlight this paragraph:

Oh, and a big fuck-you-very-much to the advertising wizards who turned every holiday season into a constant reminder of how I didn’t fit in. “Sports Illustrated – the perfect gift for every man!” Every man? Hardly. Though I suppose that “every man who likes sports and boobies” must have seemed redundant to their copywriters.

Agreed. And honestly, I’m a sports fan myself (yes, SI editors, me, a girl, likes sports). However, I prefer ESPN: The Magazine and the occasional Sporting News. I don’t need tons of boobies flashed all over my sports news to get the info. But more coverage of women in sports would be nice. Real Sports on HBO is one of my favorite shows on television, and each episode has at least — at LEAST — one female athlete or executive.

I’m so glad that we ladies now have our own computer to remind us that we’re women! Hooray!!!!!!!

From the makers of the oh-so-brilliant Dude You’re Getting a Dell Guy and generally crappy pieces of plastic come Lady Computers, made especially for Ladies. I’m so glad Dell came up with the Della, which are smaller computers (called “netbooks” in the man world) that have winnowed-down capabilities — you won’t be editing any movies or designing any websites on your computer, but it sure is CUUUUTE.

OMG and you can track your calories and find recipies! All things that I couldn’t do with my 13 inch Macbook because it’s sOOOOoooo heavy. I mean, honestly, did women even use computers before this? Or even the internets?!!!

Bonus: The Della comes with tons of cute accessories to buy. Because we’re women and that’s what we do. Buy stuff.
</sarcasm>

…Yeah, I’m a Mac, thankyouverymuch.

Sorry, it’s a very gay morning.

Miss California USA Carrie Prejean  opened her clap trap and this B.S. came out of her head.

Keith Lewis, the executive director of Miss California USA, responded:

“As co-executive director of Miss CA USA and one of the leaders of the Miss CA family, I am personally saddened and hurt that Miss CA USA 2009 believes marriage rights belong only to a man and a woman. Although I believe all religions should be able to ordain what unions they see fit, I do not believe our government should be able to discriminate against anyone. Religious beliefs have no place in politics in the Miss CA family.”

Firstly I want to show the other 49 states the reason Prop 8 passed — not everyone in California is all crazy and liberal hippy-dippy. In fact, you’d be surprised how many conservative, church-going people there are here, despite people’s fear of “San Francisco” or “California” values infiltrating the rest of the country.

I’ll be honest, I don’t know why some people are so surprised she said that. I would suspect that a majority of women who still participate in these types of pageants probably come from conservative backgrounds — I imagine most women with feminist (therefore probably liberal or libertarian) sensibilities wouldn’t subject themselves to such baseless, superficial scrutiny. Then again, I KNOW that isn’t necessarily true for everyone.

It just seems to me that the conservative movement tends to bolster the traditional (ie: pretty, blonde, trophy-wife) view of women, which is so archaically on display during the Miss USA and Miss America pageants, and the countless others that more or less sell women as though we’re slabs of meat, eventually given 30 seconds to skirt a political issue by hoping for world peace.

Now I won’t deny that these contests can be good — the winners tend to engage in community service activities and other do-gooder projects throughout the year of their reign. And honestly, it’s nice to prance around in a big pretty dress, and get your hair done every once in a while — I call those occasions “Wednesdays.” But it’s clear that the types of women who participate in these pageants, and the family that supports them through the process from the time they’re embryos until they’re too old (age 25), and the culture that they perpetuate are outdated.

I love chocolate as much as the next person, but Sarah perfectly skewers the ridiculousness of advertising toward women when it comes to chocolate.

Wow, Dick Armey. Real classy. Maybe  you and George H.W. Bush can form the “I Don’t Have Anything Smart To Say So I’ll Just Insult Women in a Public Setting” club. It can be even more exclusive than your Scull and Bones!!

I love the WTF?!!! look on Joan Walsh’s face.