Back in November, the American auto maker CEOs came to Washington, pleading for a little more cash to keep the American auto industry afloat. OMG, remember when they showed up in separate private jets?! And remember how the American automobile has been more-or-less tanking since the Japanese came and showed us how to make efficient cars 35 years ago?! And to retaliate they were all like, “We’re going to build Hummers because Americans are dumb enough to buy them LOLzies!!” And of course, there’s still this hilariously bad AIG/ banking institution bailout system going on, where we keep throwing cash at an elephant-sized bleeding wound as though the cash was a gigantic wad of bactine-soaked bandages.

So, we bailed them out. All of ‘em. At first, it seemed like a good idea. I mean between the big three alone — Ford, GM, and Chrysler — there are hundreds of thousands workers. Same thing with these gigantic banks, like my favorite former bank, the sunny, giddy Washington Mutual that is now boring, dumb Chase.

But the more I look back on this, the more I see a lost opportunity.

It’s an unavoidable fact — as much as conservatives like to think we’re becoming a nation of socialists, we’re still very much a capitalistic society. Obviously, because this mess would be quite different if we weren’t a capitalist society.

So, to avoid forcing “socialism,” bolster small businesses, encourage innovation, and even allow more people to further their education, the federal government could have let these businesses go under — but with a safety net.

The main concern of these businesses failing was the workers involved. Had we allowed these companies to continue on their paths, let’s say half of them probably would have actually gone out of business. Millions of jobs would have been lost if a few of the national banks and two of the auto companies went out of business. What we could have done with the $700 billion in TARP (Troubled Assets Relief Program) funding was give it to the people who would have been directly affected by their employers’ going under.

• Workers for one of these banks or car companies — say, those aged 55 or older — could have been given money to contribute to their pension/401K/IRA/whatever, and relieved of any retirement fund penalties so they could just retire early. For others without retirement funds, this might just mean an eleveate social security check.
• Others would get loans or grants in order to start new businesses. There should probably be some stipulations and incentives. Perhaps they have to employ a minimum number of workers to get a grant versus a loan. Maybe if they establish their business in an area in need of development (Detroit, parts of Ohio, Washington D.C., etc.), they get a tax credit.
• People who want to change careers, or advance their learnin’ would get an education subsidy and help attaining low-interest loans. For some that could mean trade school, and for others that could mean getting an MBA. In either case, this would be a great kick-off to Obama’s plan to up the education ante in this country (which is ranked way behind a LOT of other Western countries).
• Everyone else could get like 6 months salary and health insurance for them and their families for a year. Hopefully that’s enough time to help them get on their feet and find something new. Very idyllic, I know.
• And on top of all that, we’re going to need a lot of government employees and contractors to get all the projects in gear that we want to do. It’s all very New Deal.

Clearly, I’m no economist. I’m not an expert in any of this kind of stuff. And this is all a bit too late. We’ve already spent or allocated most of the TARP funding, so I doubt the feds can just come up with more money to even execute a plan like this. I know that this plan is outlined very simply, but as I mentioned earlier, this would be part bailout, and part social experiment. Especially because a lot of these people will be in concentrated areas, this plan could act like a test sample for other more progressive programs and policy.

Thoughts?