photo by Iowa Spirit Walker

Stop taking drugs. Seriously. If you’re slow, then you weren’t meant to be competing on the world stage. Get a real freaking job and stop dissapointing all Americans that you represent every time you dope up to be faster, better or stronger and then get caught full of steroids or whatever.

As a wee high school track star, I idolized Marion Jones. I wanted to be her. She was the fastest living woman in the world. How wicked was it to see her bolting through Sydney in 2000? As a 16-year-old sprinter with some promise, I loved her. She embodied the greatness that athletes can have — poise, determination, and a likeability factor that even now I can’t help but notice and feel sorry for when I see that she’s appealing for communication on her sentence by the president. (Yeah, good luck with that one, Marion. You are brown and you’re not one of the president’s cronies/henchmen).

The more I hear about our athletes (and a few from other countries) injecting stuff into their bodies, the more it makes me sad for the state of sports today. Olympic swimming hopeful Jessica Hardy’s 3 test results are up in the air, as her results have come up as positive-negative-positive. She was slated to compete in the 100-meter breaststroke, 50 freestyle, and 400 free relay. If the results are proven to be positive, Hardy faces a two year ban from competing.

So, Olympic athletes, let the guy from the Ukraine win, even if that means taking the bronze. As long as you don’t embarrass us in front of the whole world, then I really don’t care if you lose. It’s kind of annoying to see us winning ALL those medals anyway hehe